1 0. mccmb02. You are an adult with your own life. Tell them you will believe them, even if the secret is about someone you know. That aside I'd like to talk about secrets in general. Proverbs 11:13 A gossip goes around telling secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence. It’ll make you feel guilty, and put you on edge. Try to remember that you can only talk about that secret with the person who told it to you. Keeping Secrets Is Bad for You—This Is Why Hiding information from others is not as stressful as thinking about it. Csummers June 12, 2016, 7:36am #11. 10 Differences Between Keeping Your Relationship Private & Keeping It A Secret. Keeping spending secrets is a major violation of trust and a fast track to disaster. I promised a friend that I would keep a secret. Keeping financial secrets "is almost never a good sign" and usually signals other, unresolved relationship problems, says Eric Dammann, PhD, a New York-based clinical psychologist and financial coach. I started to have painful periods. The same goes for him if the shoe was on the other foot. I figure I'm starting to hate this girl just because I promised to keep things a secret. Is it ok to keep a secret like this? So good to hear from you my friend. I could barely function. It is wonderful. Keeping secrets can impact relationships with friends, classmates, and co-workers. The problem is, there really are some secrets you can keep. But it’s quite another keeping a relationship secret indefinitely. It was 5 days of hell. That's a secret that's not OK to keep at all. If you love someone, you shouldn’t find it easy to deceive them, even if you’re just lying by omission rather than lying to their face. Reply. Second, feelings of disagreement have to settle somewhere, and when they are unresolved, they usually turn into resentment. I started to have painful periods. 3. Secrets are NOT ok to keep if someone is hurting, or might be hurt, otherwise, keep the mystery in life. Posted Jul 06, 2017 1 decade ago. If you decide to disclose your secret to your partner, then think about the best way to do this, anticipate the possible responses, and consider the best ways to handle those responses. In the grand scheme of things, it's a bad idea to keep major secrets from your partner. As long as they are both OK with it and have no reasons to suspect each other - that's fine. Reassure your children that it is okay to break a promise not to tell a secret about touching. My problem is the medication that stops my periods is also a birth control. First, it’s a silent lie. Dreams are ok to keep a secret. It’s ok to fantasize about what an ex did in bed every now and then. You might be able to accept secrecy knowing that, on a precise date, things are going to be changing. I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. Most secrets in relationships aren't good — that much is true. There are some secrets it's OK to keep from your partner. 4 Reasons Why Keeping Secrets Can Damage A Relationship 1. However, keeping secrets is wrong if it means someone else could get hurt or get into big trouble. And while keeping a secret and lying outright are different behaviors, a parent whose example puts secrets and lies in similar strata can be showing a child that it’s ok to be only partially honest about important things. I am going to college and staying with my brother and his wife. Disagreement. Sure. I think some secrets are ok. These 9 subjects are expert-approved ones. Dishonesty equals disunity. 2. OK, so we all know that keeping secrets in relationships is bad, right? I don’t have these terrible pains each month. Does that way of … If you are leaning toward keeping your secret, make sure you take into account how this creates distance in your relationship (even if only in a small way) – is it a problem? Can You Keep a Secret? Make sure you both know that it is a secret. I have this friend from my closest friend group, who used to like me and flirt even after he got engaged. I could barely function. flameoftherhine. Children need to know they should never keep secrets that break safety rules for private body parts. My mother and I have a very close relationship. But if you’re doing these things, you might be taking your “privacy” to the extreme by being overly secretive about your relationship. It all depends on the secret. They got married and seem happy now. Before knowing he had a girlfriend and planed to get married I flirted back, but after finding out I distanced myself. For example, if a husband is planning a surprise birthday party for his wife, that’s a “secret” that’s being kept. Some things are ok though, if it is needed to know about to support you. As a result, you'd like to get revenge by telling her "secret" to her spouse. While hiding money isn't necessarily indicative of infidelity, he says, it usually is "a way of avoiding" deeper problems in the relationship. Most secrets are ok to keep and not tell anyone else. Some spouses don't share passwords to each other e-mails and still mantain happy marriages. Tough Love; By Averi Clements; Lots of couples prefer to keep their love lives quiet and there’s nothing wrong with that. Telltale Language Reveals Who Is Keeping a Secret. I guess that’s how that fits in Joe. January 25, 2012 — Maria Konnikova. They need to know to tell an adult as soon as they can. Just keep these fantasies to yourself to protect your partner’s ego. If you're not quite ready to spill your guts and keep the mess under cover, you can still get the best parts of secret-keeping out of your daily life right now. Quietly disagreeing with a decision a spouse makes undermines the relationship in two ways. Is it OK to keep this a secret from my mom? It was 5 days of hell. Jack Wellman November 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm. August 2, 2013 — Sandra Upson. Real fam, do you think it is EVER ok to keep a secret from bae? I keep secrets. Remind children frequently not to keep unsafe secrets. My doctor put me on medication that stopped my periods. Potentially Damaging Secrets: Sometimes, kids are asked to keep secrets with the best of intentions, but those secrets can still be damaging. Most people struggle to keep secrets from their partner and suffer from guilt when they do, and that’s the way it should be. 4. From your question description, it seems that: 1) You are not in a good relationship with your sister. 1. You don’t need to tell your mom everything. If your man knows you’re keeping secrets or those secrets come out when you least expect it, he might not trust you anymore. For example, if you know that a kid says he’s going to beat someone up or steal something, then that’s a secret you should tell to an adult who can help. 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